Part III of VI: Discipline

[note- this post originally appeared on my Xanga blog. Clicking the link will take you to the original article, which will allow you to read the original comments]

I am persuaded that most CTI fulltimers come into the ministry wanting and expecting to experience significant personal spiritual growth. I know I did. Most of us said as much on our applications:

Q: What do you expect to receive during your time with CTI? What do you want to see happen in and through your life?

A: I expect to grow closer to God and deepen my desire to serve Him and others. I expect Him to use me to reach the world. I want to develop a deeper passion for His word. I want to develop a deeper love for people. I want to seek Him more regularly through personal devotions…

newsflash:::… Most of us end up at least partially disappointed in these expectations, and I think it’s because we’re expecting an institution, ministry, or program to turn us into the kind of person we say we want to become, without having to expend a lot of personal effort to see it happen. We expect it to be a passive process. We want it to be relatively painless - maybe a little bit sacrificial - but overall, fun… because of the camaraderie of knowing that other people are on the journey with us.

We expect that by just experiencing a program, our desire for significant personal spiritual growth will be realized.

I believe that we make a critical mistake in assuming that any program can be an effective replacement for the rigorous personal pursuit of the spiritual disciplines that truly bring about this kind of change in a person. We rely on an environment to do the work for us. And then we feel cheated when the environment doesn’t come through.

Our expectations of having an experience of significant spiritual formation through CTI (or any other program) will only be realized through our willingness and commitment to be set apart and allow ourselves to be structured by an active pursuit of spiritual disciplines that are independent of our environment.